A man approaches a kfc. “Damn, I really gotta go in there huh” he laments.

The restaurant is littered with insects and bodies in torment. A slumped corpse sits beside the door, with an impaled torso across from it. A fly eaten, desicated head sits in the foreground along with an individual actively being flayed, their skin peeling down to their feet as hooks greedily tug at their face. As he breaches the entrance, he immediately looses his disgust, yelling “DAMN! YALL REALLY SELLING CHICKEN LIKE THIS?”

He heads to the counter where the devil waits. Concerned, he asks “hey man, what can I get here that’s not dirty?” “Bottled water” the devil replies.

They sag their shoulders and a crease their brow as they get their water. “Fuckin’ Dasani?”

  • CalypsoGirl@lemmy.today
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    4 days ago

    The restaurant is littered with insects and bodies in torment. A slumped corpse sits beside the door, with an impaled torso across from it. A fly eaten, desicated head sits in the foreground along with an individual actively being flayed, their skin peeling down to their feet as hooks greedily tug at their face.

    I’m sincerely glad you included this written description of the second panel because otherwise it’s an indecipherable kindergartner drawing.

    • America@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      4 days ago

      Yeah, that one took me a bit, and I’ve read hundreds of their comics. They’re a great artist, but this was not their finest work. Still love the punchline, though. Disappointment into disappointment into tentative hope into disappointment is my jam.

        • SkyezOpen@lemmy.world
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          3 days ago

          Art is subjective so you’re entitled to your preferences.

          Is what I would say if flork wasn’t objectively awesome and you’re wrong for saying otherwise. /s

        • America@sh.itjust.worksOP
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          4 days ago

          You, a person who knows nothing of this artist beyond this comic, seem completely certain about that. I don’t care to point you in the right direction, honestly

          • CalypsoGirl@lemmy.today
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            3 days ago

            I’ve seen a LOT of this same shitty artist drawing these same shitty characters. You know they’re constantly posted here on Lemmy. I’ve seen 'em all. But this one has been the worst because it required you to explain wtf is happening. I respect that the artist has ideas he wants to share via comics, I get it, I have a lot of ideas too that I can’t skillfully draw either.

            • America@sh.itjust.worksOP
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              3 days ago

              Their porn is top notch. Don’t mistake your absence of searching for an absence of content.

  • ilinamorato@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    I have discovered that, outside the US, KFC is actually fantastic.

    Seriously. New Zealand KFC is amazing. I just had to get basically as far away from Kentucky as possible.

    • hansolo@lemmy.today
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      3 days ago

      Came here to say this.

      KFC in Africa is 10/10. In Europe, at least 8/10.

      Spicy. Crispy. Tasty. Cheap. Beloved.

      If there’s no Nando’s, and no Stars ‘n’ Stripes, then KFC is always a solid go-to worth the money.

      The unfathomable disappointment of paying to buy and throw away American KFC garbage because it can’t hold a greasy, gross, grey candle to fried chicken from literally the side of the road in Benin I bought for $1.47 from some random dude cooking over a trash fire should be a source of a bipartisan Congressional investigation and resulting summary executions.

      • ilinamorato@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        Oh, Nando’s! I had no idea what I was missing before. Those aren’t in the US, to my knowledge. Haven’t heard of Stars n Stripes, though. I’ll have to look for that.

        Totally agree. Prison for a hundred years for the guy who figured out how to make fried chicken gross. Like, seriously, you have to work at that.

        • hansolo@lemmy.today
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          3 days ago

          There’s Nando’s on the East Coast, and I think Texas and Chicago now. And they’re usually sit down places. Which is funny, since real Nando’s in ZA are fast food. It’s good in the US, though.

          The only competitor, IMHO, is El Pollo Loco. Same jam, different flavors. But maybe they’ve fallen off, too. Haven’t been in decades.

  • KernelTale@programming.dev
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    3 days ago

    I used to like going to KFC not so long ago, but they serve expired meat. I will rather eat like anything else available. Kebab, pastry, local business. They’re the lowest quality and not even cheap, so why the fuck do they get customers?

  • OwOarchist@pawb.social
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    5 days ago

    Honestly, how does Dasani actually sell any bottled water when everybody agrees they’re the worst brand?

    • America@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      5 days ago

      Cheap distribution. It’s just filtered tap water. Much like the last fella at the bar, the one with the crazy eyes, you don’t have to be the best to get it. You just have to be available.

  • Harvey656@lemmy.worldM
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    5 days ago

    Whoa Whoa Whoa, I thought these were supposed to be abstract? This is just a Tuesday at KFC irl.

  • Etterra@discuss.online
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    4 days ago

    Once I went to KFC for lunch and ordered a chicken sandwich. There was a bone in the chicken.

    A completely different day I went to a KFC for lunch and ordered a chicken sandwich. There was a bone in that one too.

    I don’t go to KFC anymore.

    I would still rather go to KFC then Chick-fil-A though. And I hated Chick-fil-A before I knew that they were a bunch of homophobic Christian assholes. The food is just so… bland.

    • gorbinos_quest@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Give KFC a second chance. It’s not fair to count that as two different accidents when it was probably the same bone.