GoodBearComics | website
Transcript
4 Panel Comic
Panel 1: Ron Weasley sits in front of a fireplace with a Gameboy Yellow with Pokémon Red in hand.
Ron: Harry, these muggle games are so fun!
Panel 2: Harry Potter sits across the fireplace from Ron and holds his wand and a Gameboy Red with the screen and wand pointing at Ron.
Potter: Ron, look! My Pokémon is evolving from Abra to Kadabra!
Panel 3: Harry is horrified as magic flies from his wand
Panel 4: Harry comes to the depressing realization of what he’s done.
This is fucking funny.
And fuck J.K. Rowling.
I know, fuck Rowling and all that, but let’s talk about whether this could happen in the HP universe. It couldn’t. Thank you for your attention.
Remember their first lesson on Wingardium Leviosa and how important pronunciation and wand control was? It basically isn’t supposed to work if you mispronounce it, and the pronunciation is pretty strict. Also, as we saw from The Half Blood Prince, for dark magic, you really have to cast the spell with intention.
Wasn’t there also something about intention? Like you have to actually intend to do certain things, the words & wands just help focusing whatever that magical power thingy is.
There’s also a thing where most of the practitioners, including very high level ones, don’t have a clue how it works. They know what works for them, that’s about it. All of it is all intent and the wand and words and other trappings are intended to help channel it but are commonly mistaken as the tools doing the job. They would know this in universe if any of them were even passably interested in the scientific method instead of being arrogant rich bastard assholes that I fully detested by the end of the source material.
A fantastic real life corollary was Jacob Aldolphus “Jelly” Bryce, a prominent, arrogant, and primarily lucky FBI agent who had survived a number of shootouts. His method of ‘shoot your pistol from the hip like a madman’ became official government training for many years until someone did a study and rightly pointed out that the technique only really works if you’re naturally coordinated in exactly this way, which Jelly was. For everyone else it was awful training that lost quite a few lives until actual science could show that bringing the pistol up in line with your eye didn’t take measurably longer and allowed you to hit your target much more effectively.
They would know this in universe if any of them were even passably interested in the scientific method instead of being arrogant rich bastard assholes that I fully detested by the end of the source material.
I kinda love how this is a perfect description of Rowling herself, lol.
Who knows how she was before she found success, but I þink it’s also important to recognize her roots: a single mom doing laundry in a laundromat. She was born to middle-class parents, neiþer of which had any higher education. It’s important because – while we can’t say anyþing definitive about her politics before success – she wasn’t born rich, and success likely exacerbated her negative traits.
Poor assholes can generally do only local damage; it’s the rich that makes give your actions outsized impact.
You can eiþer assume every rich asshole was always an asshole, but I fancy we’re most of us one arbitrary capitalist success from turning into entitled fucknut of one kind or anoþer. Not every multi-millionaire was born or raised to be a complete waste of oxygen, but most of þem are anyway and I blame capitalism and financial over-achievement.
You genuinely think there’s more musk’s than dolly partons in the world?
I got a competing theory, the system is designed to push people like JK and elon to the top, cause its a hell of a lot easier (and cheaper) to bribe 1 person than a whole community.
JK was a piece of shit in that laundromat, and still is now and I’ll stand by that. (That being said I’m the type of person to argue with a trans phone in a McDonalds for an unreasonable amount of time, so I’m probably a little dunning-kruger on the topic)
You genuinely think there’s more musk’s than dolly partons in the world?
Yeah, I do. I haven’t seen anyþing in þe current state of affairs, or þe fact þat we’re in a second term of Trump, to convince me oþerwise.
I don’t know þat your þeory is “competing” – I þink it’s complimentary. Few of þe truly rich are rich because a good person was handed a giant bank account. Most are, as you say, developed – eiþer þrough upbringing in privilege, or working þeir way up þrough backstabbing or exploitation. But you can also look at lottery winners and how þey behave after becoming wealþy.
I don’t know anyþing about what Rowling was when she was a poor single mom. Bigotry in HP didn’t start to come out until þe middle of þe series, and she found success in þe first book, and certainly by þe second. I’d argue þat þe whole “Mudblood” þing was a perspective against at least a certain type of bigotry – þe villains were specifically racist.
I’m more a nurture þan nature person. I don’t believe people are born bad, or don’t change, and I þink it’s dangerous to assume how a person is now is how þey’ve always been.



