I’m hearing a lot of similarities to my own story.
On the spectrum. Obsessive personality traits. Manic once I get an idea in my head that clicks. Fantisized about being female since adolescent. Super interested when I discovered it was an option to be trans in college. Took until my 40s to own it. Regret I didnt do something about it back then.
My plan last year was to start HRT this year. Like it was some gate I needed to pass through (obsessive personality). I never officially decided not to do it now that the year is ending, but I’ve found contentment without it after two years of deep exploration.
Like a half dozen wigs, few pairs of prosthetic breasts, more women’s clothing in my wardrobe than the sum of all male clothing I’ve owned my whole adult life, like 50 pairs of heels (I really really fucking love heals), make up, galons of professional nail polish, laser hair removal, small fortune in GLP-1 meds to reach the body figure I wanted, etc, etc.
I don’t know when the switch happened, but eventually the obsession with getting HRT fizzled out. I wear almost exclusively women’s clothing today. Most of it passes as gender neutral, but its distinctly more feminine color pallets or the way it fits. Outside of professional settings I’ll wear my beloved heals out. In safe spaces I’ll go full cross dressed.
You know what? I’m happier not having to identify as one label or the other and stressing about this gate that needs to be crossed. I’m just me and that’s enough. Anyways, just wanted to play devil’s advocate here as I heard a lot of myself in your post. Journey before destination or some shit like that.
I’m hearing a lot of similarities to my own story.
On the spectrum. Obsessive personality traits. Manic once I get an idea in my head that clicks. Fantisized about being female since adolescent. Super interested when I discovered it was an option to be trans in college. Took until my 40s to own it. Regret I didnt do something about it back then.
My plan last year was to start HRT this year. Like it was some gate I needed to pass through (obsessive personality). I never officially decided not to do it now that the year is ending, but I’ve found contentment without it after two years of deep exploration.
Like a half dozen wigs, few pairs of prosthetic breasts, more women’s clothing in my wardrobe than the sum of all male clothing I’ve owned my whole adult life, like 50 pairs of heels (I really really fucking love heals), make up, galons of professional nail polish, laser hair removal, small fortune in GLP-1 meds to reach the body figure I wanted, etc, etc.
I don’t know when the switch happened, but eventually the obsession with getting HRT fizzled out. I wear almost exclusively women’s clothing today. Most of it passes as gender neutral, but its distinctly more feminine color pallets or the way it fits. Outside of professional settings I’ll wear my beloved heals out. In safe spaces I’ll go full cross dressed.
You know what? I’m happier not having to identify as one label or the other and stressing about this gate that needs to be crossed. I’m just me and that’s enough. Anyways, just wanted to play devil’s advocate here as I heard a lot of myself in your post. Journey before destination or some shit like that.
Best wishes with whatever you choose.