I have a name that can be for boys or girls. For some reason, most people assume it’s a girl’s name and act accordingly.
When I was a kid, my parents signed me up for basketball. Someone thought it was a mistake for a person with my name to be on the boys team and moved me to the girls team, without telling me or my parents. I will never forget the embarrassment when I showed up to the first practice. I quit on the spot and didn’t play basketball after that.
The problem is that we refuse to take responsibility for brats and treat nervous kids like shit instead. And they can’t even speak up cuz they’re kids.
I don’t know who ‘we’ is, but it does happen 100,000x on smaller scales with shitty parents. I’m sure it’d be a different story if 90% of adults wouldn’t get in trouble for parenting someone else’s kids these days to make up for the shitty parents.
Eh. Schools are directly beholden to laws regulating how much anyone can have input on a child. All of the helicopter parents are directly fucking over school staff for disciplining the trouble students who have no idea what authority even means, let alone what police can do to them should they start to genuinely fuck around.
We should both understand how the autistic and otherwise socially aware and perhaps anxious children behave. They might see segregation. They might see quite a lot of chiding asshole teachers, but so long as we allow words to be spoken and shared in honesty, they should have a navigable time through the scholastic system.
And it’s a problem nobody cares about, because if you’re a kid, no one listens to you because you’re subhuman and beneath consideration, and if as an adult you support kids being people, you’re accused of being a pedophile.
It feels like it’s turning though. Or maybe that’s just in my circle… You’re describing an authoritarian parenting style. “Because I said so”
That’s how my wife and I grew up, more or less. Naturally, it put us both off. Our parents were not bad people, and have certainly come around with age. But they settled for certain bad patterns at times because they didn’t know an alternative, or one wasn’t culturally acceptable, only for “other” types of people - many reasons. They were also much younger, just barely adults themselves, and still not quite escaped from the gravity of their parents ideas.
But we think differently. There are still rules. We haven’t swung full permissive. That’s just as bad. But the “why” behind them matters. Understanding when how and why one would break them also matters. We are building a full-on person. There are many many different things you need to shepherd them through, starting with the very lowest level basics an adult doesn’t have to think about for themselves.
Like how to poop.
For real, we had to create the conditions for them to realize how to literally let poop out of their body. Which I guess is not always an automatic thing at first? It took a few days with ours, lots of belly massages, and strapping them to this weird vibratey cushion thing that was strangely effective
We want them to understand how things work. You have to be there all the time to build a really strong bond. They need a solid foundation of love, safety and stability for them to do as well as you want them to. You have to have the ability to see things through their eyes.
And that’s just it. We’re not egoic 20-year-olds. We’re mid-thirty-somethings. We had a nice long time to get to know our adult selves a bit. We have now started to feel time passing and we know this is not forever. We want them to be better than we are, because they’ll be here long after we’re gone.
tl/dr: kids should learn from older kids. also school kind of sucky
sometimes i feel like before kids turn twenty, if you are more than four years older than them you basically can’t understand them at all. so maybe kids should learn from older kids. except they get put in a world where only other kids exactly their age and adults who don’t understand them at all exist. fuck school is what i’m trying to say. except i learned so many important things in school so fuck me i guess.
Children should be taught how the world works. Dont lie to them about the nature of the world. If you dont like what we have to teach the children, maybe you shouldn’t be having them.
My name could me male or female too. When i was little i had long-ish hair and a high pitched voice. A lot of strangers always assumed i was a girl. In hindsight i don’t care and it never really mattered, but i still remember how annoying that was for me. Ironically tho, later i always played in a woman’s team (like volleyball, tgat was like 90% women) because they were nicer to be around with than dudes.
I have a name that can be for boys or girls. For some reason, most people assume it’s a girl’s name and act accordingly.
When I was a kid, my parents signed me up for basketball. Someone thought it was a mistake for a person with my name to be on the boys team and moved me to the girls team, without telling me or my parents. I will never forget the embarrassment when I showed up to the first practice. I quit on the spot and didn’t play basketball after that.
I like specifying the pronouns.
We as a society treat children like shit.
Yea but have you met children??
/s
The problem is that we refuse to take responsibility for brats and treat nervous kids like shit instead. And they can’t even speak up cuz they’re kids.
I don’t know who ‘we’ is, but it does happen 100,000x on smaller scales with shitty parents. I’m sure it’d be a different story if 90% of adults wouldn’t get in trouble for parenting someone else’s kids these days to make up for the shitty parents.
It’s not just parents. Schools play a huge role as well.
Eh. Schools are directly beholden to laws regulating how much anyone can have input on a child. All of the helicopter parents are directly fucking over school staff for disciplining the trouble students who have no idea what authority even means, let alone what police can do to them should they start to genuinely fuck around.
We should both understand how the autistic and otherwise socially aware and perhaps anxious children behave. They might see segregation. They might see quite a lot of chiding asshole teachers, but so long as we allow words to be spoken and shared in honesty, they should have a navigable time through the scholastic system.
And it’s a problem nobody cares about, because if you’re a kid, no one listens to you because you’re subhuman and beneath consideration, and if as an adult you support kids being people, you’re accused of being a pedophile.
I’ve never seen anyone seriously accuse someone of being a pedophile IRL. Everyone knows the gravity of such an accusation.
Property. Kids are property.
That’s how they’re treated, yeah. They shouldn’t be.
It feels like it’s turning though. Or maybe that’s just in my circle… You’re describing an authoritarian parenting style. “Because I said so”
That’s how my wife and I grew up, more or less. Naturally, it put us both off. Our parents were not bad people, and have certainly come around with age. But they settled for certain bad patterns at times because they didn’t know an alternative, or one wasn’t culturally acceptable, only for “other” types of people - many reasons. They were also much younger, just barely adults themselves, and still not quite escaped from the gravity of their parents ideas.
But we think differently. There are still rules. We haven’t swung full permissive. That’s just as bad. But the “why” behind them matters. Understanding when how and why one would break them also matters. We are building a full-on person. There are many many different things you need to shepherd them through, starting with the very lowest level basics an adult doesn’t have to think about for themselves.
Like how to poop.
For real, we had to create the conditions for them to realize how to literally let poop out of their body. Which I guess is not always an automatic thing at first? It took a few days with ours, lots of belly massages, and strapping them to this weird vibratey cushion thing that was strangely effective
We want them to understand how things work. You have to be there all the time to build a really strong bond. They need a solid foundation of love, safety and stability for them to do as well as you want them to. You have to have the ability to see things through their eyes.
And that’s just it. We’re not egoic 20-year-olds. We’re mid-thirty-somethings. We had a nice long time to get to know our adult selves a bit. We have now started to feel time passing and we know this is not forever. We want them to be better than we are, because they’ll be here long after we’re gone.
Uhhh
tl/dr: kids should learn from older kids. also school kind of sucky
sometimes i feel like before kids turn twenty, if you are more than four years older than them you basically can’t understand them at all. so maybe kids should learn from older kids. except they get put in a world where only other kids exactly their age and adults who don’t understand them at all exist. fuck school is what i’m trying to say. except i learned so many important things in school so fuck me i guess.
Older kids don’t talk to younger kids. I mean I still talk to three year olds and tell them they’re going to be very successful, but I’m an exception.
Study hall, recess and sports exist.
Adults as well.
Children should be taught how the world works. Dont lie to them about the nature of the world. If you dont like what we have to teach the children, maybe you shouldn’t be having them.
I have ni kids, i have no problems with kids, some parents on the other hand…
My name could me male or female too. When i was little i had long-ish hair and a high pitched voice. A lot of strangers always assumed i was a girl. In hindsight i don’t care and it never really mattered, but i still remember how annoying that was for me. Ironically tho, later i always played in a woman’s team (like volleyball, tgat was like 90% women) because they were nicer to be around with than dudes.
Ok mr Paranoid
I’m sorry that people have missed the joke.
Hmm Jamie? Devon?
Ashley, Dana.
Shanon; Corey!
I feel like most gender neutral names are single sex leaning so I can kinda understand the confusion
Or how about people just stop making assumptions?
This was a different time I’m not saying its a good thing but an understandable mistake
Thinking it might be a mistake is understandable. Just moving the kid instead of just calling the parents again to confirm is incompetence.
I’m having flashbacks to that “did you just assume my gender” meme