Sigh. I don’t know where to start or what do I need to ask here even at all.

So, I have joined a new workplace and I just don’t know how to interact with people. Most of the time I don’t feel the energy to interact. But being shutdown feels not very socially acceptable behavior nor I feel it would do any good to me.

First two weeks, I didn’t talk with anyone at all. Only one or two interactions here and there that’s about it. After I did manage to get into small group of employees who’ve joined recently and they allowed me to join their social circle.

At this point, I thought I was gonna be okay and will improve at socialising. But even after a month, I still feel this feeling of being subhuman level at socialising. I feel so different, I feel so not normal. I feel everyone are just better at socialising. They got this nailed down somewhere down their lives but somehow I just missed it.

I just don’t know what to do. I don’t have confidence in my voice either so most of the time I try to end conversations with few words. Idk anything really.

Edit: Wow, I didn’t expect this much reception to this post especially since it was very messy how I explained my problem. But you guys surprised me, haha. Thank you all for your advice. I’m reading every one of your replies! I love this community.

  • DagwoodIII@piefed.socialEnglish
    1·
    2 days ago

    Like I said to the other commenter, if most of your interactions with other people are unsatisfactory you should consider what the common factor in all those conversations.

    • AskewLord@piefed.socialEnglish
      1·
      1 day ago

      Yeah, it’s me. I’m not interested in the shit they are interested in, and I don’t empathize with their self-inflected misery that makes up the bulk of their conversational topics.

      I’d rather stay home and read a book than listen to someone whine about how their dad is mean to them for not buying them a Porsche, and be told I’m an asshole because I don’t agree that their dad is an asshole and I think they don’t need a Porsche. Plenty of other people though, are happy to have that conversation with them and agree with them their dad is an abusive jerk for not buying them that Porsche. Maybe you are one of those people? maybe you also feel equally aggrieved at your parents or life in general because you don’t have a Porsche? I can’t relate to that, and frankly I think people who feel angry their dad for not buying them a Porsche are shitty people

        • AskewLord@piefed.socialEnglish
          1·
          1 day ago

          Not literally, but metaphorically, yes. People where I live think a 150K salary is poverty and that you can’t possibly have a decent life if you don’t own a Porsche and have three homes. and they talk about it all the time, you can’t sit in restaurant or anywhere without people talking about how their life is awful and depressing because they only have 200K in their checking account and they can’t possible feel safe and secure unless it’s 2 million. And they love to talk about how their parents are horrible to them for not giving them six to seven figure sums in gifts.

          • LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works
            1·
            1 day ago

            Honest advice: meet some non-wannabe-rich people.

            Many people are interesting, smart, funny and empathetic. Many other people also suck. The trick is to filter. There is a reason you have a door in front of your place.

            If you consistently run into the people that suck, try meeting other people. People based on a different filter.

            All kinds of things can be a filter. A sports club, a neighbourhood, a job, a political party, a bar… Pick one that you feel comfortable with and that has a higher chance of meeting the good people.