Sigh. I don’t know where to start or what do I need to ask here even at all.

So, I have joined a new workplace and I just don’t know how to interact with people. Most of the time I don’t feel the energy to interact. But being shutdown feels not very socially acceptable behavior nor I feel it would do any good to me.

First two weeks, I didn’t talk with anyone at all. Only one or two interactions here and there that’s about it. After I did manage to get into small group of employees who’ve joined recently and they allowed me to join their social circle.

At this point, I thought I was gonna be okay and will improve at socialising. But even after a month, I still feel this feeling of being subhuman level at socialising. I feel so different, I feel so not normal. I feel everyone are just better at socialising. They got this nailed down somewhere down their lives but somehow I just missed it.

I just don’t know what to do. I don’t have confidence in my voice either so most of the time I try to end conversations with few words. Idk anything really.

Edit: Wow, I didn’t expect this much reception to this post especially since it was very messy how I explained my problem. But you guys surprised me, haha. Thank you all for your advice. I’m reading every one of your replies! I love this community.

  • DagwoodIII@piefed.socialEnglish
    1·
    2 days ago

    Why? You seem to think I’m insulting you. Is there any point in going on, except that you like being insulted?

    • Flamekebab@piefed.socialEnglish
      1·
      2 days ago

      Ultimately, the point is that I find your dismissal of my experiences both massively condescending and the way you choose to do it hugely insulting. Particularly when doing so actively undermines your premise.

      We could have had a nice chat about how different people experience different social situations, how forming connections can be one sided, and related interesting things.

      But no, I’m apparently shit at socialising because I’m different from you. If I was better at it, everyone and their gran would invigorate me socially, I just need to try harder, because everyone works like that and nuance doesn’t fucking exist.

      Fire up those magical social skills of yours as you’re making a pig’s ear of this interaction.

      • DagwoodIII@piefed.socialEnglish
        1·
        2 days ago

        “Fire up those magical social skills of yours as you’re making a pig’s ear of this interaction.”

        You call me sensei, so here’s your first lesson.

        Read over all of what you’ve actually written, then imagine our positions were reversed.

        Do you think you’ve come across as willing to have an intelligent conversation?

        If so, what sentence or phrase do you consider the warmest and most welcoming of an actual exchange?

        edit - added ‘all of’

        • Flamekebab@piefed.socialEnglish
          1·
          1 day ago

          I think my initial comment would have been easy to engage with in good faith rather than the route you took.

          After that you could easily have gone with something like “Looks like we got off on the wrong foot, I wasn’t trying to dismiss people’s experiences…” and attempted a mood reset rather than doubling down.

          Look at this, you’ve got me doing your thing for you, almost like I already do what you suggested as a matter of course.

          I could keep this going, ask some rhetorical questions, make some snide remarks, but honestly, this is boring. I wanted to delve into the differences in our outlooks on social experiences, not deal with whatever this is.