Y’all should hang with Filipinos. That gap is perfectly normal. My wife is freaked out to be 6-months older than me when all her friend’s husbands are 20+ years older, 40 in one case. She hates it to the point I can’t even joke about it at a party. :)
I’m married to a Filipino and all her friends are Filipinos. Are you not directly from there? I ask because if you were raised in the West, well, of course that’s a different experience.
Comments like this lead me to believe the speaker has rarely, if ever, been laid and is resentful of what consenting adults do that they cannot participate in.
Comments like this make me giggle because having sex doesn’t impact your views on coercion and power dynamics. And also I wasn’t talking about sex. The topic is marriage.
Like sure, maybe a 30 and 50 year old have enough in common to really get along. But it’s also just as likely, if not more likely, that societal expectations and familial pressure push young women into marrying older men for stability reasons, not because they love them or are attracted to them.
I’m in my late 40s now, and I can tell you that the people I know who are 30 seem SO young. We have so few shared experiences. They never even heard of the Rugrats. How am I supposed to marry that…
Familial pressure? These Filipino women are on the other side of the planet from their families, marrying men their people often haven’t met. You’re making assumptions based on your own experiences in your own culture. Helps a lot to experience it IRL. No one has been suckered or pushed into these marriages, it’s just normal to them. Someone always comes along and says they’re gold diggers. FWIW, I have yet to see that. All of the women work and make good money. A few I know are well off on their own while their husbands are retired.
Broadly speaking, Asians have a whole different view of age, sex and marriage. There is nothing abnormal about a very young woman marrying an aging man. Makes me wonder how the young guys ever get laid! Not being funny, I honestly wonder. My wife is almost ashamed to be 6-months older than I. I can’t even joke about it, that bad. (Though she looks 20 years younger.)
Funny enough, she has one Filipino friend that looks to be in her 20’s, is actually in her 40s and her husband is in his 30s. Strange world.
I guess. But at what point do societal expectations and pressure override consent in a fully formed and educated human? Is there such a point? Something about this makes me think there is.
Then again, I also think that forcing children into a religion is abuse. So maybe this is just my skewed view that the influence of culture is often inappropriate.
That they respect themselves and only marry someone who does the same. That they find someone who prioritizes taking care of them, and do the same. Everything else is negotiable.
Oh, and they can’t marry some god damned toaster. I’ll be damned if I have AI grandkids.
Right… so as long as they have the mental capacity to choose for themselves, then age doesn’t matter…Even if it creeps you out, as long as there is mutual respect, then it’s all good, right?
The couple in this post, as long as there is mutual respect, should get the same general ‘ok’ from you. No double standards.
No no. It’s a maximum not a minimum. At MOST I would try to influence those two things. And if those couples also had ONLY that influence, then fine. Do you think that culture is configured in a way to allow for such minimal pressure?
I see where you’re coming from. I hope the kids you raise will understand how you’re trying to help them. But I know that having kids absolutely changes your plans.
Culture is whatever you want it to be in your house and your little ones will take that into the world when they’re old enough and hopefully make it a better place for all of us.
But at what point do societal expectations and pressure override consent in a fully formed and educated human? Is there such a point? Something about this makes me think there is.
Y’all should hang with Filipinos. That gap is perfectly normal. My wife is freaked out to be 6-months older than me when all her friend’s husbands are 20+ years older, 40 in one case. She hates it to the point I can’t even joke about it at a party. :)
Lol as a Filipino this shit is not normal at all and we’re creeped out by this wdym
I’m married to a Filipino and all her friends are Filipinos. Are you not directly from there? I ask because if you were raised in the West, well, of course that’s a different experience.
I live here in the Philippines
Still creepy. It doesn’t matter that it’s normalized on their culture.
Comments like this lead me to believe the speaker has rarely, if ever, been laid and is resentful of what consenting adults do that they cannot participate in.
“Creepy ass adults doing what they want in bed!”
Comments like this make me giggle because having sex doesn’t impact your views on coercion and power dynamics. And also I wasn’t talking about sex. The topic is marriage.
Like sure, maybe a 30 and 50 year old have enough in common to really get along. But it’s also just as likely, if not more likely, that societal expectations and familial pressure push young women into marrying older men for stability reasons, not because they love them or are attracted to them.
I’m in my late 40s now, and I can tell you that the people I know who are 30 seem SO young. We have so few shared experiences. They never even heard of the Rugrats. How am I supposed to marry that…
Familial pressure? These Filipino women are on the other side of the planet from their families, marrying men their people often haven’t met. You’re making assumptions based on your own experiences in your own culture. Helps a lot to experience it IRL. No one has been suckered or pushed into these marriages, it’s just normal to them. Someone always comes along and says they’re gold diggers. FWIW, I have yet to see that. All of the women work and make good money. A few I know are well off on their own while their husbands are retired.
Broadly speaking, Asians have a whole different view of age, sex and marriage. There is nothing abnormal about a very young woman marrying an aging man. Makes me wonder how the young guys ever get laid! Not being funny, I honestly wonder. My wife is almost ashamed to be 6-months older than I. I can’t even joke about it, that bad. (Though she looks 20 years younger.)
Funny enough, she has one Filipino friend that looks to be in her 20’s, is actually in her 40s and her husband is in his 30s. Strange world.
Creepy or not, as long as it’s legal, unforced, and consensual.
I guess. But at what point do societal expectations and pressure override consent in a fully formed and educated human? Is there such a point? Something about this makes me think there is.
Then again, I also think that forcing children into a religion is abuse. So maybe this is just my skewed view that the influence of culture is often inappropriate.
Just curious, what set of values would you put on your kids? Or will they be free to do as they please with no guidance from you?
That they respect themselves and only marry someone who does the same. That they find someone who prioritizes taking care of them, and do the same. Everything else is negotiable.
Oh, and they can’t marry some god damned toaster. I’ll be damned if I have AI grandkids.
Right… so as long as they have the mental capacity to choose for themselves, then age doesn’t matter…Even if it creeps you out, as long as there is mutual respect, then it’s all good, right?
The couple in this post, as long as there is mutual respect, should get the same general ‘ok’ from you. No double standards.
No no. It’s a maximum not a minimum. At MOST I would try to influence those two things. And if those couples also had ONLY that influence, then fine. Do you think that culture is configured in a way to allow for such minimal pressure?
I see where you’re coming from. I hope the kids you raise will understand how you’re trying to help them. But I know that having kids absolutely changes your plans.
Culture is whatever you want it to be in your house and your little ones will take that into the world when they’re old enough and hopefully make it a better place for all of us.
You’re basically describing an arranged marriage
This is not a healthy reaction to internalized misogyny.
Isn’t the French formula 1/2 + 7 years?
I’m french and that’s the first time I’ve heard about a formula.