

I can’t see anything that he did wrong, from this story.
I can see that you were pedantic about many things, and you seem not to recognize it. That can kill lots of nice situations. Be more soft and careful with your criticism, but be more open and precise and detailed when telling your wishes in advance.
Regarding the slut word: first both of you said you need to try and learn. Then you asked him for dirty talk. Then he tried it. So he tried to do exactly what you asked for, but then it wasn’t right for you. Ok, such things can happen. Don’t overthink it. Maybe talk it out again, maybe forget it (but then forever!).

First, try love handcuffs on him and note how they fit.