I’d probably get annoyed my phone was buzzing so much, then turn it off without seeing what’s on the screen.

Not a banana?

I do, actually. That’s why I originally got them!

And once I got it, I realized all the other things I could use it for.

Watch knives.

https://www.amazon.com/YXQ-Opener-Remover-Repair-Battery/dp/B09XK1632G/

All-purpose opening and prying tools. I use them for everything from small electronics and random containers to popping 3D prints off the printer bed.

I paid her beforehand to make sure the sex with you was bad.

They didn’t say what was IN the water gun.

I have a No Soliciting sign on my door.

When salespeople knock, I open the door and say, “Are you here collecting money for adult illiteracy? Because it’s obvious you can’t fucking read.”

I don’t think they wanted the deck stabbed at all