he’s dead
During Trump’s first term, I kept predicting that one day he would go missing, along with one of his helicopters, and turn up in Russia weeks later
Donald Trump, JD Vance, Marco Rubio, Pete Hegseth, Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Nancy Pelosi. Chuck Schumer, Vladimir Putin, Rupert Murdoch, Sam Altman. Dario Amodei, Kim Jong Un, Xi Jinping, Donald Trump Jr., Eric Trump, Jared Kushner, Kamala Harris, and Russell Vought all die mysteriously seemingly within minutes of each other.
Why is Kamala Harris lumped in there?
I think you forgot Netanyahu.
Oh yeah. And Gavin Newsome too.
I think a lot of us are waiting for the same headline.
There is someone who works a new stand. Everyday an elderly man walks up to the stand, looks at the news papers and the walks of in disgust.
Eventually the worker stops the old man and asks him “Why do you do that every day?”
The old man says “I am looking for a specific obituary.”
The worker says “But the obituaries are in the back on the new paper.”
The old man says “Not this one.”
I check headlines everyday for the big win. Everyone at work is planning a huge party for when it happens. If I happen to be off shift that day I’ll be dancing in the streets with everyone else.
They don’t make a beer mug big enough for the celebration that will ensue after he dies.
I don’t think it’ll matter if I’m on shift or not…
When is the ORANGE OBITUARY!
“Donald Trump, Disgraced President of the USA, Dead at 81”
I’d rather see him in jail, but this is the next best thing.
…twice impeached and convicted of 34 felonies…
"Uncharted territory as G6 geomagnetic storm likely to plunge Earth into full electrical darkness this Wednesday, scientists warn
NOAA and other agencies worldwide are warning about an impending geomagnetic storm, which has since been nicknamed as the New Carrington Event, in allusion to the historical event that took place in 1859. Observation data has shown an unprecedented skyrocketing of Planetary K indices in the latest 48 hours, with a tendency to reach a level higher than G5, currently the highest possible class for geomagnetic storms. Scientists are rushing to try and understand what caused the surge as well as possible mitigations before all scientific apparata go dark. While the storm is unlikely to cause any harms to life on Earth, the human world as we know it may be replaced by a new Stone Age. Electric systems worldwide have already faced surges since Sunday, with widespread fire across transmission lines. Entire data centers, including Cloudflare and Google, went dark and took swathes of the Internet down. Some specialists are optimistic that our current technology is resilient enough to survive the storm, despite the ongoing surges.
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We’d still be able to mine and forge metal so more like a second Iron Age
Trump Found Dead on Toilet
Netanyahu Assassinated, Israel Collapses
Putin Dead of Colon Cancer, Russia Retreats from Ukraine
Socialist Revolution in North Korea
Myanmar Rebels Unite and Overthrow Junta
Sudanese Anarchist Republic Recognized by UN General Assembly
Saudi Royal Family Flees Capital During Violent Uprising, Interim Government in Talks with Yemen
DRC Enacts and Enforces Stringent Labour Laws, Ebola Cases Low
Canada’s Green Party Elects first Woman Premier
China Enshrines Proportional Representation into Law
Socialist Revolution in North Korea
That would confuse so many right-winger heads.
Could cause the death of trump because he doesnt know who to suck up now
Fr haha
Trump sentenced to 400 years solitary confiment after being found guilty.
Drug found that can extend life to 500 years.
A quick death is too good for some
>invents immortality
>sentenced to life in prisonheheheh
I’ll just say it’s an obituary and be confident that I won’t need to say more.
There’s an old Soviet joke:
A man goes to a newspaper stand every day, buys a copy of Pravda, glances at the front cover, curses, and throws it away.
After a few weeks of this the seller just has to ask what’s going on: “why do you always look at the cover but never inside?” “I’m looking for an obituary.” “An obituary? But those are in the back!” “Oh no, the obituary I’m looking for will be on the front page.”
Turns out I just posted this further up the page with different wording. 🙃
“AfD Banned”
The death of Tryanny and all it’s orange forms
America officially dissolves congress and becomes a dictatorship
“So this is how liberty dies… with thunderous applause,”
That was my thought when Trump won the 2024 election
Once is a mistake, twice is a pattern.
My very first thought on awakening that morning was, “There goes Lina Khan, our last hope to break these fucking monopolies.”
At least Mamdani scooped her up! More evidence that he knows how to lead. I admire a politician that surrounds themself with top advisors.
Russia defeated in Ukraine
“Putin Dead”
The thing that saddens me isn’t a headline like that, it is that there will be more like him afterwards. :(
Power vacume like in the 90s i suppose. All depends how and when he dies
Too easy… “Putin sentenced for life in Hague tribunal”
For that we have to let poland of its leash
